Wednesday, December 9, 2009

AN ENGLISHWOMAN'S LOVE-LETTERS DELUXE EDITION LOVE-LETTERS 69

Beloved: I remember my second birthday. I am quite sure of it, because my
third I remember so infinitely well. Then I was taken in to see Arthur
lying in baby bridal array of lace fringes and gauze, and received in my
arms held up for me by Nan-nan the awful weight and imperial importance of
his small body.


I think from the first I was told of him as my "brother": cousin I have
never been able to think him. But all this belongs to my third: on my
second, I remember being on a floor of roses; and they told me if I
would go across to a clipboard and pull it open there would be something
there waiting for me. And it was on all-fours that I went all eagerness
across great patches of rose-pattern, till I had butted my way through a
door left ajar, and found in a cardboard box of bright tinsel and
flowers two little wax babes in the wood lying.


I think they gave me my first sense of color, except, perhaps, the
rose-carpet which came earlier, and they remained for quite a long time
the most beautiful thing I knew. It is strange that I cannot remember
what became of them, for I am sure I neither broke nor lost them, perhaps
it was done for me: Arthur came afterward, the tomb of many of my early
joys, and the maker of so many new ones. He, dearest, is the one, the only
one, who has seen the tears that belong truly to you: and he blesses me
with such wonderful patience when I speak your name, allowing that perhaps
I know better than he. And after the wax babies I had him for my third
birthday.





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